Our Secret Wedding: Celebrating One Year of Marriage
I’ve waited a year to write this on a public platform, and the anticipation has only made it sweeter: Today, I am celebrating one year of marriage with my best friend!
To some people, this might be an absolute shock. Didn’t you just get married in October? We saw the pictures. And that is true! We had a ceremony and reception on October 14th, 2023, with all the guests, the details, the food, and the dress. It was a magical day I will never forget and cherish with my whole heart. It just wasn’t the actual ceremony that married us.
The truth is that Jason and I eloped on July 1st, 2023, in a private ceremony with our immediate family in Tulsa. Why did we do that? Well, it’s a bit of a story, so I’ve waited until now to share it.
It all started back in late April of 2023. Jason and I had been getting increasingly serious each day, and we had already discussed getting married in 2023. Jason had plans to ask for my dad’s blessing on Easter weekend, but it got pushed back because Jason got a viral infection just a few days before we planned to drive to Missouri. My parents left for a cruise right after, so Jason didn’t get to talk to my dad until the end of April.
We picked out a ring together once he got my dad’s blessing, and the reality sank in: We’re actually doing this. We’re going to get married. Once Jason proposed, I jumped right into wedding planning. I knew I wanted a fall or winter wedding, and with the timeline of getting engaged in May, we would have enough time to plan the perfect day.
I’ll never forget going to my chiropractor in Tulsa one day after work when Dr. James asked me about my wedding plans with Jason.
“I’m thinking sometime in the fall or maybe early December,” I told him.
“You know what would be so cool?” he asked. “What if you just eloped?”
I laughed out loud. “No way!” I said. “I’ve dreamt of a wedding dress and all my loved ones with me my whole life. I don’t think I could do it.”
“I get it, I do. I just think, why even wait if you know it’s real and it’s from God?” he asked. “You could still have a reception later.”
Even though I was sure that was not what I would do, his words stayed in my mind. In the weeks to follow, it felt like people were eloping all over my for you page on TikTok. It was so strange! It could NEVER be me, I thought.
Jason and I discussed a wedding date, but he was adamant that we could not do November because it was prime hunting season. We ended up settling on December 2nd, and I was excited about my winter wedding.
Well, a lot happened after we chose a date. I knew my older sister was pregnant, but one night at my brother’s house, we got news that was a massive shock to my whole family. She was pregnant with twins! TWINS. We have never had twins in our family before, and nobody expected that to be a possibility. Her due date was late December. Immediately, my mom was worried about our wedding. Most of the time, twins never make it to their due date. They usually come early. We tossed around the idea of maybe pushing our wedding to January or February of 2024, but we knew my sister’s life would be much more complicated with newborn twins, a two-year-old and a six-year-old. The chances of her being a bridesmaid go out the door if we push the wedding back.
After discussing things with my wedding coordinator and trying to narrow down a venue, our options were limited. We had two weekends in October that worked: the 14th or the 28th. I had a save the date from a friend of mine, and I knew her wedding was October 28th, and there was no way I could do it the same day. We could do the weekend before Thanksgiving, but that was Jason’s one condition with our wedding, NOT to do November. We decided to make October 14th our day. Interestingly, Jason and I had met on October 15th, 2022, making the timing feel perfect.
Despite the new date, logistical issues arose. I had a roommate getting married in June of 2023, and our lease for the apartment was up in June. I either needed to find a temporary roommate to move in to help pay rent or try to move to a one-bedroom place until our wedding. The timeline wasn’t working now that we pushed the wedding to October. No place would let me rent for four months, and I couldn’t afford to pay for a two-bedroom place either. No one would want to move in with me just for me to move out in four months.
Jason and I didn’t feel comfortable moving in together before we were married. My faith is really important to me, and I just wanted to do right by my convictions and not go that route. Jason felt the exact same way, so we knew we needed to figure something out. Jason had moved into a one-bedroom apartment in the same complex as me, and his lease was going up in August. It felt like we had no options at all.
My mom asked us one night how we felt about eloping. I immediately thought about how Dr. James had just talked with me about that. I was struggling hard with it. I had always dreamed of my wedding day and prayed to find a good man. I didn’t want to take away the magic by eloping. I wanted my best friends standing by my side. I wanted my family in the audience and I wanted Jason’s loved ones there.
God, why can’t this just work out perfectly? Why does it always seem like this is just my life?
I wrestled with these questions for a long time. My mom insisted that we could still have the October wedding as planned. Maybe we just have a small ceremony with our immediate family relatively soon, keep it on the DL if that’s what we want. She was so certain the magic of the big wedding in October would still be there.
So that’s what we decided to do. We chose July 1st as the day we would elope, even though we were still making plans for October. It was pretty weird, honestly. I wasn’t sure if I should tell a ton of people, so we let our family and closest friends know. People like my chiropractors and co-workers were so excited for us and celebrated us big during that time.
July 1st came, and it was a hot day in Tulsa. The simple white dress I bought online to wear ended up being see-through, and I found out less than an hour before we were eloping. It was not off to a great start, haha. I ended up wearing a white dress I wore on the beach the year before, and I hated it, if I was being honest. But at that point, why did it matter if we were still planning a big ceremony in October? Once I allowed myself to relax and not take it so seriously, the more present I felt in the moment.
My Papa officiated, and our loved ones came to support us. My Papa talked about how Jason was exactly who we had all been praying for — the person I had been waiting to meet for years. Even though eloping was not what I had wanted, I knew we did the right thing that day. We went off to Branson after for the 4th of July weekend, and it was simple but still such a fun experience because we were finally married. We planned to cruise to Mexico after the October ceremony, so we made the most of our weekend in Branson.
From July to October, we lived in my two-bedroom apartment. We were married but did not publicly post about it. There were numerous incidents where I posted a picture of Jason, and you could clearly see his wedding ring. Part of me wanted to just post about it, but I was also terrified that nobody would come to the October ceremony if everyone knew. What went through my head was people thinking, “Why come all that way if they’re already married?” This is what I was afraid of. I did tell quite a few people in those months, and I tell people today if I see them and we talk. I’ve just waited because I wasn’t sure where to begin by telling this story.
The October ceremony was wonderful. It was a dream to have a wedding dress, beautiful hair and makeup done by my friends, and seeing all the people Jason and I love so much! Honestly, I was less stressed that day because we were already married. I could relax a lot more and enjoy that day and every moment. I was overwhelmed by all the love and support we got.
Was it the way I always dreamed of it in my head? Not exactly. There were many bumps along the way, but I wouldn’t change it. Sometimes, things happen in life; instead of getting upset, you make the most of it. Sometimes, lease contracts don’t align with your wedding, and sometimes, things in life are expensive, like renting an apartment in a nice area. Sometimes, your sister gets pregnant with twins, and sometimes, you must make tough choices. Our story may be different from others, but it’s our story, and God’s hand has always been on our relationship.
I’ve had so many people ask me which anniversary I will celebrate: July 1st or October 14th. We plan on celebrating both because both days are so special to us. How blessed am I to have two days to celebrate what God has done for me every year?
I hope to one day share more about Jason and how we met, and maybe more in the future. I want to find the balance between honoring him and his love of privacy (that probably stems from his career, lol) and sharing about the one person I love so much.
All of this to say…
Happy One Year to my husband and biggest fan! I am thankful you chose to make your home with me. Here’s to forever <3
xo,
Jessalyn